Wednesday was kinda tough because I had a lot on my mind and it was starting to get to the point where it was interfering with my teaching and focus. I was going crazy! So that night I decided to fast the next day (and let me just tell you, it is so easy to fast on mission when you are still doing twelve week training because by the time we are done with lunch and studies it is already one in the afternoon). But I remember as I broke my fast later that night, I could feel a complete change in myself. I was so at peace and I realized that I was worrying about something that I didn't need to worry about. I was able to see that the Lord was with me 100% of the time if I am humble and willing to listen, he is willing to answer. But he is even more merciful than that, he gives me more than what I asked for and even more. I love the power of fasting!
Another cool little experience I had this week happened last night as we were biking out of one of our neighborhoods. A couple weeks before I saw this house with a Hispanic lady having a yard sell and we didn't stop to see her. As we were biking by, I saw a little boy playing outside and there were tons of cars. I had the thought to turn back and teach them because someone was obviously home. So I mentioned it to my companions, but because we were on our way home to make up studies we just kept biking. As we were almost out of the neighborhood, I felt again that I needed to listen to that prompting and turn around (because the more you act on the Spirit the more it demands of you). So I mentioned it again, and we ended up turning around and going back.
It wasn't one of those extravagant encounters that people talk about, but we did get a new investigator because we followed that prompting. We plan to continue to work with that family. I remember thinking to myself how rewarded and full I felt as we biked away after talking to him, and I know that the Holy Ghost is never going to make me feel bad if I follow his promptings. The only thing that will make me feel bad is to not act! I have decided to make that a goal, to act as quick as possible on those promptings, because if I am not listening to the Spirit then I am just Missionary #2 (I'll explain).
So our Zone Leaders have asked us to read a talk called The 4th Missionary in preparation for our meeting this week. So, like good little beans, we did as we were told. And it discusses the different types of missionaries and how we won't gain anything even if we complete our whole mission and work really hard unless we give our heart and will. It goes really into depth, and it taught me so many good lessons. One is about my desires. I have been struggling for a little while with "desires" and wanting to be a good servant. In the CCM (Mexico Missionary Training Center) Elder Bednar quoted a scripture something like, "If you go about looking for yourself, you lose your life. But if you give your life for others, you will find yourself" (I cant remember the reference). I have been beating myself up because I keep thinking that wanting to be a good person is a selfish desire, and how I am not focusing on other people if I want to be a better person. But as I read that talk, I realized that that is what this life is all about! We come to earth to change, to grow and experience things that help us either come close to God, or close to Satan. Those are the only two options. And I realized that having the desire to be a good person is what we were sent here to do. And if that is what drives me, then I need to hold on to that. Because really, I don't want to end my mission and be even close to the same lazy, teenage girl I left as. This is my time to learn to be more comfortable in the presence of God, and that takes change. After discovering that, I realized how sneaky Satan is..... man, I hate that guy. Well NOT TODAY SATANAS!!
I am learning so much and love the opportunity I get to be a part of this work! "This isn't easy because Salvation is not a cheap experience." Elder Holland and I love the growth that missions teach.
Love you so much Mom, and I hope that y'all have fun in Alaska! Be Safe!
Love,
Hermana Madsen
Pinto Bean (July 12, 2015)
Ain't Nobody Got Time to Build Sidewalks (July 27, 2015)
